Pearls of Wisdom
Are ye at your wits end with your lot in life? Have all other sources of advice or inspiration left you wanting? Let Pearl yur Gurl be your muse!
Life
1. Always ride a horse awake, that goes for the both of you.
2. One has the right to bear arms, howe’er pack a shawl just in case.
3. Do not cast Pearl before swine, she’s a vegetarian with enough laundry to do.
4. When hosting the Virgin Queen in your shire, 86 Bloody Marys from the brunch menu.
5. There is a reason why we bury things 6 feet.
Laundry
1. Select the right temperature to avoid shrinkage, and thus possible embarrassment.
2. Smaller loads may be more efficient, remember quality over quantity.
3. Don’t let your clothes sit for too long, unless you’re in them and don’t feel like getting up at the moment.
4. Be not to be clothes minded, explore your horizons.
5. What is not wrinkly is but irony.